Zombie-fighting ninja-librarian: Top Five Most Frustrating Characters

Literally anyone in Wheel of Time. But since I’m planning to pick one from each book/series; Mat Cauthon. The Wheel of Time is a huge fantasy series. The plot is too convoluted, but three of the main characters are three young men who radically change the world. Mat Cauthon is probably the one who enjoys this the most. He gets to leave his hometown and bang ladies and live like a lord. He’s foolhardy, and he’s like… he just refuses his responsibilities for a long time, and that bugs me. The most annoying thing though is that he has no fucking insight into himself. Oh my God. He’s essentially a boozy, swear-y, philandering jackass with a heart of gold, and in one of the books he “adopts” a kid named Olver, and when Olver starts acting exactly like Mat, Mat does not get where Olver gets it from. It’s so frustrating. I realize it’s supposed to be funny, but it’s too camp and too overdone, it’s just too much. Good God Robert Jordan. At the same time, in the later books Mat is one of my favorites, he shirks responsibility for a long time, but he does love his men (he’s a general) and he looks out for them. He takes in Olver, who is an orphan. He is a brilliant general and he does step up in the end, but oh my God he annoys me so many times. Get it together dude.

Harry Potter: The Boy Who Lived is obviously awesome, and a badass, and he saves the world and whatever. He’s also a frustrating child. I realize he’s a teenager, and that he just sort of lives up to his teenage-ness, but Oh My God. He just refuses to see anyone else’s point of view, he jumps to conclusions, no matter how many times he’s proven wrong he is convinced Snape is the devil. Even though Snape saves his life on several occasions and always tries he never gives Snape the benefit of the doubt. Harry’s got a lot of the good traits of Gryffindors, but he also has some of the bad traits. He doesn’t seem to see the advantage of shutting up and being pragmatic, and it makes me furious. (Just, side note, I love Harry Potter, the books, and the guy, just, wow!)

This is totally a cheap shot, and I apologize, but Bella Swan. Why do you not have any agency? Why do you keep being a helpless girl? Why, oh why, is everything in your life dictated by the shit bucket that is Edward Cullen? I don’t get to rant about Twilight often enough. She’s not the only bad character, the whole series is populated by them, but she just annoys me. She’s 17 and her favorite book is Wuthering Heights, so that’s a warning sign. I love the book, but it’s not really something you should base your love life on. She engages in really destructive behavior, which is portrayed as romantic and normal. And oh my GOD. I’m done.

Kvothe from the Name of the Wind. Again, I really love Kvothe. If we take anything from this post it’s that I am messed up and quite like frustrating and upsetting characters. He’s just such a bloody know-it-all-I’m-so-perfect-oh-look-at-me. Jeesh. He’s obviously very clever, and it’s not really him that frustrates me, necessarily, but the way he’s described is frustrating. He’s an annoying jackass and I want to punch him in the face, or shake him and tell him to get the fuck over himself. Honorable mention: Denna. Can someone, for the love of God, tell me why Kvothe likes her? WHY? Is there something about her that I can’t see? Is she magical? GAH!

So this is a slightly different one, because I really didn’t like him, unlike Kvothe, Mat and Harry. Toru Watanabe from Norwegian Wood. I hate him. I wanted to tell him to shut up. I literally wanted to shout at him to shut up. I’m getting a little contentious. He’s such a super serious, pretentious, asshole, who thinks he’s so good, and so smart and oh my god. And not just him, why does every woman in this book want to fuck him? He seems to be the least desirable human on earth. He’s so superior and I hate him.